Dear Bro Next to Me,

Why are you so loud? Seriously, why?

I know that you and your friends like to convene and play video games. I know that you like to leave your door open so that all can come in and be welcome. I know that you are social and enjoy the company of others. But why must you be so loud?

You are right there in front of the TV. You don't need the volume to be turned up to 11 just to know that you killed that zombie. Plus, you don't need the door open so that everyone else can hear that you killed that zombie. Why not have a "Come on in!" sign and leave your door unlocked so that all who are curious can come in as they please, but the rest of us don't have to angrily close our doors.

I'm glad you have friends. I'm glad that you have little bits and inside jokes that you do. But I don't like to hear "Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me!" shouted down the hall at 10. Do it at 8:30. You know, before quiet hours start at 9.

I admit, I can be a little loud too at times. I might have the god of creation and destruction stay for the weekend and he could be loudly regaling the tails of his sexcapades. Fear not, he will be gone by Monday and you will be able to hear your zombies again. Or, I could be loud because of genetic and naturally selected reasons that were and could be still beneficial for the formation of a social group and bonding between individuals. I try to stay quiet but I can't be totally silent. I doubt you can use the same reasoning, unless your particular group of hominid ancestors found it beneficial for you to be an ass-hat.

So please, keep it to a very dull roar. Neither I, my roommate, my roommate's boyfriend, or my boyfriend is interested to hear what you have to say.

Sincerely,
The girl who lives next to you.